A Geek Girl's Guide to Arsenic Read online

  A Geek Girl’s Guide to Arsenic

  By Julie Anne Lindsey

  The Geek Girl Mysteries

  It’s been three months since Jake Archer rolled into town, accused Mia Connors of murder and stole her heart. She hasn’t heard from him since. So when a man collapses at the fall Renaissance Faire, she’s surprised to see the US marshal arrive on scene. And shocked when he points the finger at her—again. Mia would sooner be able to resurrect the poor fellow than poison him.

  Jake Archer’s career has been rising fast, but it’s about to come to a crashing halt. The Ren-Faire victim was in protective custody—Jake’s custody—and they were painfully close to nabbing a major crime boss. If Jake doesn’t solve the murder soon, he’ll be fetching donuts instead of protecting his nation. A difficult enough task without the alluring Mia Connors in the way.

  Working with Jake to catch the killer might push Mia into crazy-cat-lady territory. But with a murderer on the loose—and Mia’s reputation on the line—they’ll have to work fast to find the killer before the killer finds them.

  Carina Press acknowledges the editorial services of Deborah Nemeth.

  77,500 words

  Dear Reader,

  You know that moment when you’re reading a great book and you hit around the 70 percent mark and you realize: this book is going to end. And then you’ll be done with it. And will have to leave the characters behind. And find another (hopefully equally amazing) book to read next? So you want to slow down but instead you speed up because you just have to know what happens. The next thing you know, it’s done, you’ve got that happy-book-sigh feeling and...now you really do have to decide what book to read next. The great thing about reading is that there is always another fantastic book available, and I think you’ll find a few that will help with this issue in this month’s releases, because they are awesome!

  Shannon Stacey is one of our most popular authors and her Boston Fire trilogy has not disappointed readers (or her editor)! But I’m particularly excited about Fully Ignited because it brings us not only the alpha men of Boston Fire but also a badass female firefighter who is unapologetically good at her job. I love a strong, confident heroine who makes no excuses for who she is, and that’s what we get with Jamie. Scott can’t stop thinking about Jamie, despite the fact that she’s his temporary superior and not sticking around. Chemistry can crush the best-laid plans, though, and while Jamie and Scott might not be each other’s future...there’s no resisting the right now.

  Laura Carter debuts with a darkly suspenseful, erotically charged Vengeful Love trilogy that’s a return to the glamorous, jet-setter romances of Jackie Collins and Sidney Sheldon. In book one London city lawyer Scarlett Heath’s neat little world is shattered when she meets Gregory Ryans, the mysterious, irresistible CEO of GJR Enterprises—and her new client. Too late, Scarlett realizes the truth about the hostile takeover she’s been brought in to handle: the man she’s fallen in love with is out for revenge. And he’s taking her with him. Gregory and Scarlett’s story continues across Rome and Dubai in the next two installments releasing in April and May.

  A.R. Barley is debuting in male/male contemporary romance with Out of Bounds. A line of tape down the center of the room is the perfect plan: boundaries established for college sophomore Jesse Cole and his sexy new roommate, senior Nick Moretti. These two strong-willed men are as opposite as opposite can get. But as their initial friction moves into straight-up dirty talk, who wouldn’t want to cross the line?

  Also in male/male contemporary romance, j. leigh bailey’s heroes Fight to Forgive as they face family manipulation, past betrayal and an uncertain future to find their second chance at love. Perfect for those of you who love the second-chance trope!

  We have two erotic paranormal romances for you this month on two ends of the paranormal spectrum: vampires and shifters! In Dee Carney’s Hunger Untamed, a beautiful courtesan must overcome her fear of a beastly vampire mercenary if she’s to avenge her sister’s death. And on the shifter side Laurent, the second-in-command for the Cherchez Wolf Pack, didn’t expect to find his destiny in a roadside café. But there’s no doubt in his mind that waitress-by-day, artist-by-night Rain is his mate. And the urge to be near her, to protect her, to have her, is intoxicating. Don’t miss Sworn to the Wolf by Lauren Dane.

  Speaking of erotic, check out the beautiful cover on Kira A. Gold’s The Dirty Secret, and while you’re there, peek inside the covers to find out what happens when an architect with a dirty mouth and a secretive, sensual painter are thrown together and challenged to decorate a house. The real challenge is figuring out how to complete the project while taking every opportunity to discover what’s under each other’s clothes—and behind one another’s personal walls.

  This month’s mystery offering comes from Julie Anne Lindsey. In A Geek Girl’s Guide to Arsenic, the resident geek girl puts her high IQ to work uncovering the killer when a man is poisoned at Ye Ole Madrigal Craft Faire. Don’t miss the previous title in this series, A Geek Girl’s Guide to Murder.

  Pick up one (or all) of these new releases this month and let us help you solve your book crisis. Giving Readers Their Next Good Book Fix can become our new imprint motto!

  Coming next month: a sexy and captivating (literally) romance from Amber Bardan, Vengeful Love: Deception with its continuation of Gregory and Scarlett’s story, and a new author makes her debut!

  As always, here’s wishing you a wonderful month of books you love, remember and recommend.

  Happy reading!

  Angela James

  Editorial Director, Carina Press

  Dedication

  For Danny, who always made me smile.

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Excerpt from A Geek Girl’s Guide to Murder

  Acknowledgments

  Also by Julie Anne Lindsey

  About the Author

  About A Geek Girl's Guide series

  About The The Patience Price Mysteries series

  About The Ladies Smythe & Westin series

  Chapter One

  “Isn’t fall the best?” Grandma swigged the dregs of her steaming wassail and sighed. “Fall is my favorite season and not just because our sales skyrocket. There’s excitement in the air. Don’t you think?”

  I raised a skeptical eyebrow and nodded magnanimously to pa
ssersby from my place behind Guinevere’s Golden Beauty booth.

  A line of eager faces joined the mass around our display case. Their cheeks were as red as living kewpie dolls in the brisk autumn air. They sampled lip balms and hand creams with more enthusiasm than I could muster over skin care and eventually handed fistfuls of cash to Grandma.

  She winked. “The sales don’t hurt.”

  Guinevere’s Golden Beauty products were available decades before holistic, herbal, all-natural supplies were en vogue, but when the trend hit, Grandma became a millionaire. Since I was the Chief Information Officer for Grandma’s company, her success didn’t hurt my bank account either. Grandma loved hand selling the way she had with Grandpa before he died, so we were still a staple at the summer Renaissance Faire. And from September through November we peddled our goods at the local fairgrounds, known seasonally as Ye Ole Madrigal Craft Faire.

  It was a family business and I loved being with my family, but I preferred technology, which was why I also worked as the IT Manager in the gated community where I lived. Guinevere’s Golden Beauty was Grandma’s baby. I had yet to discover mine.

  “Uh-huh.” I cast a weary gaze at the horde headed our way. To hear Grandma and the media tell it, holiday shopping was fun. Commercial images captured best friends and couples, arm in arm, sporting openmouthed smiles and jaunting along fully decorated, uncrowded streets. Wherever those pictures were taken, it wasn’t Earth. There were still two weeks until Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t find parking within six blocks of anything. Of course, none of that affected Grandma. She made our Christmas gifts. If not for work and the Craft Faire, I’d happily hibernate from Halloween through New Year’s.

  Grandma bagged another gift set and stuffed a receipt inside. Giddy in her element, she passed the package to its new owner and turned to me. “Have you spoken with Petal at Earth Hugger?”

  “Briefly.” Petal was the aging hippie daughter of Earth Hugger’s founder. Together, they’d offered us shelf space in eleven Earth Hugger retail locations. The space was voraciously coveted and about to be ours. Petal and I were hammering out the terms. “She’s finishing the marketing plan and meeting with her team to finalize our proposal package.”

  Grandma startled. “What do you mean by proposal? They proposed. We accepted. The warehouse is shipping quadruple numbers next quarter. My living room looks like a big box store. No take-backs! I shook that Earth Hugger’s hand!”

  “Whoa.” I fetched my most reassuring smile. “Everything’s fine. Proposal is the word they’ll use until the contracts are signed. We’re right on track, and we don’t want to sign until Earth Hugger assures us fair amounts of marketing and visibility. We bring a lot to the table here, too. They need to do their share to make the deal worthwhile. They have to announce and celebrate the inclusion of our products in those locations or it won’t even matter they’re there. No one will know. No one will buy. The products will be returned unsold.”

  “Now who’s worked up?” She relaxed against the counter. “All right. Fine. Stay on her.”

  “I am.”

  “I’ve always dreamed of seeing my products in stores.”

  We’d taken Guinevere’s Golden Beauty products from the Faire circuit to online sensation, expanded to catalogue ordering and eventually landed a 6:00 a.m. spot on a shopping channel, but we weren’t on store shelves yet. “It’ll happen. I’m holding out for the treatment your products deserve. If she can get a solid plan together for that, I’ll bring the contract to your house myself.”

  Earth Hugger was a globally recognized and respected maker of holistic beauty products. Their projected growth was astounding. Guinevere’s Golden Beauty couldn’t touch their kind of scalability. Grandma still kept half her recipes in a lockbox under the bed, and our corporate office doubled as her solarium. We needed this deal with Earth Hugger to fulfill Grandma’s dream. Her products on store shelves.

  Another bus unloaded shoppers and fall foliage spectators outside the gates fifty yards away.

  Grandma snapped into action, loading her arms with free samples and literature about our company. “Fine. Use the lawyers. Call the accountant. Whatever you need, but let’s sign those papers soon.” She hustled through the booth’s exit, headed for the fresh crowd.

  Her trust was both endearing and terrifying.

  I stacked handmade oatmeal and cranberry soaps on the counter, crunching through a mini pile of crimson leaves. The heavy fall skirt of my Queen Guinevere costume was brown at the hem after trudging halfway across creation, from the worst parking spot imaginable to the replica castle gates.

  The crowd around our booth was three people deep. A smile danced across my lips. These dedicated consumers could buy our products at Earth Hugger soon. No need to wait for the Ren Faire or Craft Faire. They wouldn’t have to order online. We’d make enough money to build proper offices within three years.

  Grandma led another throng of smiling women in my direction. I discarded the empty soap box and pulled in a cleansing breath, preparing for the incomers.

  My twin sister, Bree, popped into view, towing her husband, Tom, to the front of the crowd.

  Air whooshed from my lungs. So much for my Zen.

  She vibrated with enthusiasm, per her usual. A twenty-nine-year-old cheerleader without pompoms. “Are you busy? I’ve got someone I want you to meet. His name is Adam Clayton and he works at the brothel.”

  Bree and I once shared a womb and currently our looks, aside from that we had nothing in common. Bree thought sex ran the world, and she and Tom were up to their elbows in everyone’s personal business, conducting research for a grant on human sexuality. Being single made me a target for their nonsense. Sex definitely didn’t run my world. I was complete on my own. Like a cat.

  She tapped the display case between us and gasped. “Let’s go. Come on. He’s there now.” Her determined expression opened to a wide smile. “Are you thinking about sex?” She pulled a tiny notebook and pen from her corset.

  “No.” I straightened my stance. “I’m thinking of getting a cat.”

  She and Tom exchanged looks. His understated pirate costume was perfect, definitely more Dread Pirate Roberts than Jack Sparrow.

  Bree popped her hip. “Is this about Nate? Are you two finally getting together? Where is he anyway?”

  “We aren’t dating. It’s not like that with us.” Nathan Green was a six-foot intellectual and former boxer with ginger hair, green eyes and the heart of a teddy bear. Also, my best friend. We’d never been romantically involved, but I couldn’t imagine life without him. Best not to ruin that with romance.

  The excitement in her eyes dimmed. “Of course not. Well, where is he? Isn’t he usually at your side by now?”

  “He’s on his way.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Then you still have time to meet Adam.”

  “No.”

  Bree hacked an ugly noise. “Mia! Come on.”

  “Sorry. I have to stay here and help Grandma until Mom and Dad get back.” I raised my palms in the universal out-of-my-control motion and shrugged.

  Grandma’s long gray braid swung against her backside. “Quit chitchatting and sell something.”

  Bree beamed. “Exactly.”

  I narrowed my eyes on her. “I’m not meeting a man who works at a brothel.”

  She sucked air, ready to implode. Bree had left the family booth to work at the brothel until her research was finished and she felt guilty for abandoning us, as if she was the hinge pin in our operation. “Merry Maidens is a theater company. You act as if it’s an actual brothel.” Her eyes slid shut, and I imagined her counting to ten the way Dad taught us so we wouldn’t pull out one another’s hair. “Outside the Faire, Adam’s a highly successful CPA and a real Renaissance man. He’s educated. He has dual bachelor degrees in finance and history. His graduate work was
mostly accounting, but he’s a dedicated historian. He’s perfect for you. Just meet him. Please?”

  “An accountant? He sounds exciting.” I waved and smiled to passersby, feigning indifference. Protests were futile with Bree. Avoidance worked well, as long as I could keep it up. Where the heck was Nate when I needed interference?

  Bree wrinkled her brows in an expression just short of pity. “They can’t all be US Marshals, you know.”

  I grabbed a stack of flyers and coupons and walked the interior of our booth, nodding and offering samples to shoppers. Most important, leaving Bree and Tom stuck in the crowd.

  “Hey.” Grandma’s pointy elbow dug into my ribs as I passed. “Don’t mind her. She means well.”

  “I know, but geez.” Bree had spent her life parenting me, based on the fact she was two minutes older and therefore infinitely wiser and more mature. After having her daughter, Gwen, last year, the maternal instinct had doubled. When I’d arrived stag to Gwen’s first birthday party, Bree nearly lost it. I thought being single was a life choice. Bree thought it was a mental illness.

  Grandma motioned to another empty display. “We need more Buxom Beauty.”

  “I’m on it.” I set the stack of flyers and coupons on the counter and opened a stock box.

  She patted my arm. “It’s showtime.”

  Grandma waded through the throngs and climbed onto a chair out front of the booth to tout the benefits of our natural products. “Greetings!” The crowd moved in her direction, providing me with a fresh blast of oxygen. Grandma belonged onstage. She had that in common with Bree.

  Cheers and clashes erupted from the jousting match across the field. I tipped my head back and inhaled. A brisk autumn breeze whipped the peppery scent of fall mums up my nose.

  “Good day, milady.”

  I clutched my collarbone. “Marry!”

  John Francis, the Faire painter, smiled coyly from his place across the counter. He shook a foam cup with paint-speckled fingers before tossing it in the waste bin several feet away. His outfit was straight out of a Three Musketeers movie, fitting his sassy personality. “Pardon me for saying, but ye do look lovely. That shade of green suits ye well.”