Goddess Read online

  “Yes.”

  He flicked his attention to my sword on the wall. “Well? Get your weapon.”

  I wiped my forehead with one arm and stepped around the bag. He didn’t believe I was ready. I held his eye contact and stretched an open palm between us. The sword dove for my hand. I tightened my fingers around the hilt.

  He rubbed his chin. “Not bad. How does it feel?”

  “I don’t hate it.” I loved it. Holding the blade stirred something in me, like the sight of an empty pool with lane lines. I wanted to spring into action, feel the thrill, and claim my victory. Unlike the pool, I had no idea how to use the sword.

  Whispers and footfalls echoed down the stairway to the basement. Zoe and Lisle appeared in the doorway.

  “Are we interrupting?” Zoe asked.

  Oliver and I turned to welcome them.

  Liam ushered them in and guided them to a table at the side of the room where he watched me practice. “Everything okay up there? Is there a problem with breakfast? Or the head count?”

  Zoe stared at me. “We came to talk with Callie.”

  Everyone turned my way. I twirled the sword, forcing nervous energy away from my body. “I asked them to touch base with me.”

  Oliver hefted my giant shield in one hand. “About?”

  “I asked if they’d check on Justin.”

  Oliver pursed his lips.

  “He’s safe,” Lisle interjected.

  I held my breath. “Did he see you?” Justin would kill me if he knew I sent a spy.

  “No. No one saw me. I was in and out like a breeze.”

  A thread of tension tightened around the room.

  Liam came to my side. “Maybe you should put the sword down.”

  The spinning blade was a blur before me, whirring gently as it sliced the air and lifted my bangs in the wind. “Oh.” I slowed my arm and brought the blade to a stop. “Nerves.”

  Zoe nudged Lisle. “Go on.”

  “He set up camp on his family’s property, like you expected. They’re about a mile up the best worn trail.”

  I nodded. I knew the place. “By the stream?” Did she say they’re?

  “Yes. He seems a little down, but that’s to be expected, isn’t it? His girlfriend is cheering him up and the other men are answering his questions.”

  Zoe grabbed Lisle’s hand. “Justin doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

  Hair rose on my arms. “He said he went alone.” The timbre of my voice shocked the room still. “Who was there?”

  The girls took a step back. Lisle’s mouth opened and shut before she finally spoke. “The girl from the other day. Nym. I thought they were dating. It looked like maybe they were dating.” She turned to Zoe for support.

  Zoe rubbed her shoulders and tucked her against her side.

  Oliver continued the questioning while I sucked on that. Nym? Really? Why’d he lie, and who else was there? If Nym was interested in him, she probably wasn’t the reason he kissed me. I blew out a long breath. Maybe his strange behavior was nothing more than what Liam called it: typically out of character for a guy about to change.

  Oliver swore and raised his hands overhead. “Stians.”

  “What?” Alarm shot through me. “The Stians have him?”

  “No.” Lisle waved a finger. “They were camping. I saw four tents, a campfire, and coolers. I don’t know if they arrived together, but I didn’t sense any hostility. I think he called one of the other men Adam. Are you sure Justin and Nym aren’t dating?”

  “No. I’ve seen them together before.” Not alone, sharing a tent, but in his Jeep outside Roll With It.

  I looked to Zoe. “Any word on Nym? Where she lives, where she’s from, what she is?”

  She shook her head. “We couldn’t find anything. She’s vapor.”

  Liam and Oliver retreated to a corner, murmuring and grunting.

  I hung my sword on the wall and butted into the guys’ discussion. “You can’t whisper in front of us. It’s rude.”

  Oliver swore.

  Liam wrung his hands together. “If he’s joined the Stians, he may be bound to them. The decisions we make after transformation are difficult to reverse.”

  Oliver raked his fingers deep through his hair and pulled, leaving it at crazy angles that added to the insanity in his eyes. “This is why the Watchers seek out the new Vikings and influence them. We have to live with our choices, and no one is prepared to make eternal decisions alone. It’s our job to intervene.” Each word of his final sentence rattled separately off his tongue. His limbs morphed and stretched into the demigod he was. “Dammit!” He threw my shield and stomped up the steps.

  Liam excused the girls and collapsed onto a bench at the wall. “Do you remember me saying we’d identified another Watcher? Another brother from our lineage?”

  I zombied to his side, sensing this wasn’t the good news I hoped for. “Can he help?”

  “He was Justin.”

  Air sucked from my lungs. “You kept this from me, too.” The words barely lifted from my tongue. An unbearable pain slammed through my heart. “Where does your deceit end? What will I learn you’ve hidden from me tomorrow or next week?” A humorless laugh escaped. “Wow. Just. Wow. I guess at this point, I’m the one to blame for continuing to be surprised.” Indignation and self-loathing stiffened my spine. “No. You know what? This won’t happen again. Consider yourself on notice.”

  A scowl formed over the shock on his face. “Notice?”

  “Yeah. Notice.”

  He scanned the small group who quickly averted their eyes, finding floor boards and crown molding preferable to our humiliating rift. Yet another reason Liam needed to back off until he figured out leading our men wasn’t a one man job. Fighting among the ranks was a problem. Fighting within the leadership was a catastrophe in the making.

  I straightened my expression. We had forever to argue but no time to waste retrieving Justin. “You called him brother yesterday. I assumed you meant brother like fellow Viking.”

  “No.”

  And it would’ve killed him to clarify? What did he gain by keeping this astronomically important detail from me? I raked a hand through my hair. The magnitude of my screw up exploded in my mind, illuminating an endless line of mistakes I’d made since transformation. “Isn’t there anything you can do to influence him now? Maybe I can try to talk to him again.”

  Liam looped his arm around my neck and kissed my head. “Maybe.”

  The truth was in his voice. I pulled away. “But not really.”

  “No. Probably not.”

  * * * *

  I sat in Justin’s seat at lunch.

  Allison leaned on the table’s edge. “I can’t believe Thanksgiving is in three days. I’ve got two midterms at Wells and no Christmas shopping done. Let’s go this week. You can window shop if you want. You don’t have to spend any money. I’ll buy lunch. Just, please come with me. If you truly love me, you won’t make me shop with my mom.”

  I finished my salad and set the fork inside an empty yogurt container with my spoon. “Okay, but I have practice all week. This weekend, maybe?”

  “Deal. Don’t try backing out.” She hoisted her book bag onto her back and smiled at Tom. “You’re my witness. She said she’s going. I may have to call on you to back me up if she tries to back out.”

  Tom looked to me.

  I rolled a red apple on the table from palm to palm. “You’d better go, or you’ll be late for college. Sleep over this week and we’ll make plans.”

  “Consider the plans made.” She bounced on her toes and turned for the door. “Later, losers.”

  Kirk and his crew stopped to gape and make crude gestures as she passed.

  Tom chuckled. “She really is perfect for him.”

  “Kirk?”

  He snagged my apple and tossed it into the air. “Oliver. She’s smart for her age. Sassy. She challenges him. It’s nice to see him strug
gle with what to say. We all need that.”

  I laughed. “Really? That’s my life. Befuddled and awkward are my most defining qualities.”

  “You’re wrong.” He bit into my apple.

  “People tell me that a lot lately.”

  “Why don’t you want to shop? I thought all women liked to shop.”

  “Okay, first, that was completely sexist, totally cliché, and unfair gender stereotyping. Second, I’m broke.”

  He leaned back, stretching his legs beneath the table, digging into his jeans. He liberated his wallet. “Here.” He dropped a U-shaped stack of bills on the table.

  I blinked. “This is like five hundred dollars.”

  Tom furrowed his brow. “Do you need more? I have more at the manor. My jeans are constricting. I can’t carry more than a few hundred without drawing attention to my…pocket.”

  My gaze traveled to the area in question. Gotcha. “So, carry it in your back pocket.”

  “That’s how you get pickpocketed.”

  I guffawed. “No one gets pickpocketed here.”

  “Because it’s common knowledge to carry your money in your front pocket.”

  Oh my goodness. I rubbed my eyes. “I can’t take your money.” A memory surfaced. “Didn’t you tell me not to carry cash?”

  He chomped into my apple again. “It’s unwise and unsanitary, but I haven’t established a new legal identity here, so I don’t have a credit card. Keep the money. I don’t need it. There’s plenty more.”

  I suppressed the urge to remind him most people, humans, didn’t have enough money to pay the bills and eat every month. If I started that conversation, I’d end up with another lecture on how I wasn’t human and then I’d probably call my sword to whack him. Which I’d regret once I remembered he was trying to do something nice for me.

  “Fine.” I unfolded two twenties and gave the rest back. “I’ll pay you back after I get my check from Roll With It.”

  He rolled his eyes. Tom had been spending too much time with me.

  I tucked the cash into my front pocket. “What do you think Allison meant about already having plans made?”

  He squinted. “You’re going shopping.”

  I looked at the front door where she’d disappeared. “I don’t know. Nothing’s ever that simple with Allison.”

  The warning bell rang and Tom grabbed our trays. Mine was empty as usual. Between swimming and whatever went on inside my body since the transformation, I couldn’t eat enough.

  He dusted his palms. “Can I walk you to study hall?”

  “Sure.” We moved through the scrambling crowd, thick with lust and fear, stress, and joy. Someone had their first kiss. Got their first car. Scored concert tickets. Others broke up. Got benched. Failed a test. A powerful nearby emotion grabbed hold of my middle. Sorrow.

  Tom adjusted the set of books in his hand. “Have you heard anything from the scouts?”

  Three man teams were searching for Eli and the others. How had I forgotten something so horrible? “No. I can ask Lisle if she saw him with Adam and Justin.”

  “She didn’t. I spoke with her after breakfast. I’m sure this was the work of the Jotunn.”

  “We’ll find them.”

  He nodded.

  Bodies crowded the stairwell, racing to lockers and classrooms. Tom stepped ahead, parting the sea as we ascended. He didn’t stop until we reached the library. “It’s okay if we don’t.”

  I stuttered to a stop. “Don’t what? Find them?” In what universe was that okay?

  “They will find favor with the Valkyries. It’s all any of us want.”

  In that moment, I realized Valkyries to Vikings were angels to humans. I threaded my arms around Tom and pulled him into a hug. His body went rigid and his arms tightened at his sides. A long moment later, he hugged me back.

  Liam arrived with a goofy smile. “Are you bonding?”

  “Yes.” I gave Tom one more squeeze and stepped away.

  A blush crept over his face. “I’m going to check in at the manor. I’ll be back for swim practice.”

  I followed Liam to a table in the back of the library. “Any news?”

  “None. On a more human note, Oliver said we’re double dating Wednesday night. Allison invited us to your house to watch movies. We can all sleep in Thursday morning.”

  Knew it. “I forgot to tell her I put you on notice.”

  He smiled. The expression quickly faded. “You’re serious?”

  I lifted my eyebrows.

  Liam ducked his head and quieted his voice. “Everything I do is to protect you, your life, your feelings.”

  We’d had a hundred variations of this conversation and they all ended the same way. I needed a partner. Not a parent. Did I need help? Yes. Enormous Viking boatloads, but he wasn’t helping me by keeping secrets and fielding every problem that came my way.

  He caressed my hand with long steady fingers. “We need this date. Time to be a normal couple who isn’t trying to save the world from frost giants sent by Zeus’s grandma.”

  I snickered. Darn it. “Fine but only because I don’t want to explain why you aren’t coming, and you’re still on notice. Also, sleeping in isn’t happening.”

  “Do you have a meet? I could come.”

  I shook my head. “Thursday is Thanksgiving.”

  “That’s not until dinner, right? What am I missing?”

  “American traditions, I guess. Mom’s been lining up her recipes for a month. She’ll start cooking the night before, mostly desserts and side dishes. Then she’ll get up at dawn to put the turkey in the oven, deliver some food to the local shelter, and watch the Macy’s parade followed by the dog show and then dinner.”

  “Bummer. Allison and Oliver have big plans. Movies. Pizza. Popcorn. No parents.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  “Oh boy.” I smiled. “Too bad you’re on notice.”

  Liam leaned an elbow on the table. “I accept your notice.” Challenge colored his voice. “I have to warn you. I watch YouTube and the CW. You never know what might happen when a young couple gets some time for themselves.”

  “Uh-huh.” I grabbed my phone and set it on my lap. “I’ll tell Allison the plans are on.”

  He beamed, obviously feeling victorious. “We’ll find Eli and the others and we’ll bring Justin back.” He left a kiss above my ear. “There’s nothing we can’t accomplish together. I’m sorry I didn’t admit that sooner. No more secrets. Forgive me?”

  “I’ve already forgiven you. I know it’s your stupid stubborn way of protecting me, but it’s not the right way. You’re going to have to earn my trust back. Just because I understand why you do things, doesn’t make them okay.” I batted my lids to send the tears back where they came from. “I can’t do this without you.”

  He rubbed a warm palm across my back. “You’re not alone. You can talk to me.”

  A million thoughts crammed into my mouth, fighting to be heard. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I was independent and organized. I had a life plan. Now, everything’s upside down. I don’t know how to prioritize. I hate lying to Allison and my mom. I’m failing at absolutely everything. Grades. Relationships. Battle training. Life. It’s killing me because I’m not a failure. I wasn’t.”

  He lifted my chin on strong fingertips. “From where I sit, you’re doing everything right. Life’s all a matter of perception. Sometimes we have to trust that the Fates know what they’re doing. Trust that the people who love you will understand your motives. Have a little faith in your family. You aren’t alone. The sooner you embrace that, the sooner you’ll find peace.”

  I turned my cheek to rest in his palm. “Justin’s one of you, huh? I should’ve figured.”

  “We need him.”

  Me too.

  The second half of my day passed in a blur of notes and pop quizzes. Liam’s words lifted my heart to new possibilities. I’d been so obsessed with leading that I’d refused
more help than absolutely necessary, but Vikings weren’t a monarchy. We were a team. A family. I doodled to-do lists in the margins of my notes. Unless the task was something personal like studying, swimming, or being a friend, I put it on the other list. The delegation list.

  Delegation was my favorite word ever.

  The sound of Coach’s whistle sent a thrill through my soul. For the first time in weeks, I couldn’t wait to dive into the water and leave everything else on deck. No more ruining my release with stuff I couldn’t control. Who cared if I got a swim scholarship? Why couldn’t I accept money from Dad for college? That was what he’d set it aside for. Pride had gotten in the way of my reasoning. I paced myself a half stroke ahead of the guy in the next lane and enjoyed the rush of water along my skin. Hydrogen and oxygen molecules responded to my presence, vibrating like tiny fingers, pulling me along, and sloughing off my cares.

  We swam a mile before Coach divided us up for sprints and relays. I worked with freshmen on their form and everyone else on the importance of getting off the starter block on time. Getting a good foothold during flip turns was vital, too, but it was early enough in the season that new swimmers still hesitated at the horn. “First one in. First one out. You miss the start and you have to swim faster to make up the time. That’s not easy in a sport where every millisecond counts. Start hard. Turn smart. Finish fast.”

  Coach’s slow clap stopped my rant. “Tell ’em, Ingram.” He clutched my shoulder. “Listen to this one. She’s put in enough hours to open a swim school. That’s if she doesn’t skip college in favor of joining our Olympic team.”

  I waved a palm at my teammates. “He’s joking. I’m not making the Olympic team.”

  Coach paced behind me. “Any one of you can make the Olympic team. You’ve all got it in you to go the distance. Keep a clear head, a tenacious heart, and a make-em-eat-bubbles attitude and you’ll do whatever you want with this skill.”

  Little swimmers loved writing that on their backs. “Eat my bubbles.” No one over twelve said it, but Coach was right. Justin was mine. We needed him to defeat the giants and save the world. It was time for the Stians to eat our bubbles.