Goddess Read online

  I dropped inside the car, eager to shut the door against the world. “Nope.” One more thing death hadn’t changed. “Nice to know I’m still me.”

  He braced one palm against the roof and curled the other over the open doorframe. “Who else would you be?”

  “That’s the million-dollar question.”

  Liam’s reassuring smile warmed me, despite the chilly November air. “You are who you’ve always been. You’re just remembering it now. Instead of assuming you lost yourself when you died, why not think of it as finally waking up again?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Liam leaned closer until the scent of him fogged up my mind. What was I saying?

  “You are Calypso, daughter of the goddess Calypso and Hermes, the messenger. Granddaughter of Zeus. You are the prophesied leader of all Vikings whose existence was so unequivocally important it was hidden for countless generations. Your every reincarnation was concealed for your protection.” He stroked a renegade curl away from my cheek. “You have lifetimes of experience hidden in your soul. Don’t fight the changes. Embrace them.”

  “Right. And don’t die.”

  A playful smirk changed his wistful expression. “We don’t have to worry about that anymore. You’re significantly tougher than you look. No offense intended.”

  “None taken.”

  The only way to kill a demigod was by beheading. Good news for my Vikings. Beheading wasn’t easy. My body was quick to heal, like theirs, but mine was just a vessel. Easier to kill than my men, but hardier than a human. None of us aged after the transformation, but we could all die. Viking souls went to Valhalla if they were lucky. My soul zipped back to who-knew-where between reincarnations. I rolled my head against the soft leather headrest.

  Liam folded his long body behind the wheel and started the car.

  I looked out my window. “I didn’t hear you close the door.”

  “You get lost in your head too often. We have to work on that.”

  I shut my eyes.

  The ride home was gloriously peaceful and far too short. Every inhalation filled my senses with Liam. His cologne and shampoo permeated the small interior. Warm air poured through the vents on his dashboard, circulating the aroma and heating my skin. Memories of his hands on me eradicated every other thought. The restraint he used when we were alone, the way he gauged my every response and allowed me to set the pace, stirred a pool of heat in my core.

  “Everything okay?”

  I opened my eyes. “What?”

  “You moaned.”

  Heat scorched my cheeks. “No, I didn’t.”

  Liam turned onto our street. He brushed hair from my shoulder and traced the line of my neck from jaw to collarbone with his fingers. “You did. I hope whatever you were dreaming of included me.”

  Dreaming. Had I fallen asleep so quickly? “I was reliving a nice memory.”

  “Of me?”

  I nodded, my house coming into view.

  “Care to show me later?”

  A flash of Liam and me curled together in his bed scorched through my mind, incinerating everything else. His lips explored the nape of my neck. The taut muscles of his chest and torso warmed the curve of my back.

  He parked the car and unlatched his seat belt.

  I flipped down the visor and peered into the vanity mirror. The flash of amber nearly blinded me.

  Liam grabbed his phone from the console. “Oliver’s calling.” The phone rang a moment later.

  “You knew that?”

  “My brothers and I are somewhat in sync.”

  I leaned forward, squinting at the insane color of my eyes. Which reminded me. My eyes had changed color halfway through my day. I dropped my forehead against the dash. What a nightmare. I rubbed my eyelids. “Six weeks ago my biggest problem was securing a swim scholarship. Now, look at this. I have to explain new hazel eyes to my mother. And what if they keep changing? If I end up with crazy alien eyes, I won’t make it to college. I’ll be tied to some researcher’s lab table.”

  Liam frowned. His phone was pressed to his ear.

  “Oops. Sorry.” I rechecked the mirror.

  Liam set the phone in his lap. “Oliver says another Viking left today. I don’t want you to worry about it.”

  He didn’t want me to worry, but anxiety filled the car, streaming from his skin like a thick wet blanket meant to suffocate me. A strange thread of anger lingered in the air. Was he mad at the man for leaving? Was he mad at me for not inspiring the deserters to stay?

  I swallowed a clog of emotion. “That’s three in two weeks.”

  “Tom and Oliver will talk to the others tonight. They’ll see if anyone can guess why these men, who vowed to stay, would go. If anyone among them knows, they’ll find out. Oliver will let me know if there are others with similar plans. We’ll get this under control. You worry about you and let us handle the men for now.”

  “It’s my job to know why. I know you want to help, but I should be there. If you keep handling everything for me, the Vikings will never see me as their leader.”

  Liam twisted in his seat to face me directly. “You are their leader. It doesn’t matter if they see you that way. It doesn’t even matter if you feel like their leader. You simply are, and we all need you to figure that out as soon as possible. Let me do this. You concentrate on getting comfortable with your new reality because this one doesn’t change, and if you do it right, it never ends. You need to come to terms with this.”

  I swung the door open and hopped out before I said something I’d regret.

  Mom lounged in the creaky porch swing, wrapped in an afghan. Tendrils of steam rose from the mug poised beneath her chin. Her wavy brown hair rippled in the biting wind, framing her face with motion and accentuating her rosy cheeks.

  I waved good-bye to Liam when he climbed out of his seat. “See you later.”

  His gaze swept from my hopefully intimidating expression to my mom. “Hello, Mrs. Ingram.”

  Mom smiled. “Hi, Liam.”

  His car door clicked shut behind me as I climbed the stairs. I breathed a sigh of relief as the engine revved to life. For a moment, I suspected he’d follow me.

  Mom patted the swing beside her. “What was that about? Are you two fighting?”

  I dropped my book bag on the old wooden porch with a thud. Chester barked behind the large wooden door. “Guys suck.”

  She chuckled. “Sometimes. What’d this one do?”

  I pulled her afghan over my legs. Coffee energized the air between us in a steamy haze from her cup. “He thinks he knows everything. I mean, I’m not perfect and I have things to learn, but I don’t need a babysitter or a white knight or a tutor, you know? When I need something, I’ll ask for it. Until I ask, don’t assume I need.”

  “You two spend quite a bit of time together. Maybe he’s misinterpreted that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Come inside. I’ll make you some coffee before you take mine.”

  I followed her into the kitchen, dragging my book bag. Chester barked at the cloth bag, pawing and nipping at it as I pulled it behind me. He chased inanimate objects indiscriminately. Brooms. Vacuums. Lawn mowers. I crouched to rumple his shaggy sheep-doggy hair.

  Mom turned the knob on our stove until a little blue flame burst to life. She tossed a line of fresh cut vegetables into an empty pan.

  My tummy groaned in anticipation. “Is that stir-fry?”

  “Yep. Do you want chicken or no?”

  I nodded. “Always chicken.”

  She retrieved a plate of chunked and seasoned chicken from the fridge and set it beside the stove. “Always chicken.”

  She leaned against the counter and watched me unpack my bag. “You and Liam went from strangers to inseparable in a matter of weeks. Maybe he thinks you need him more than you do because you can’t seem to stay away from him.” She lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “I never see Allison these da
ys, and Justin barely comes by. Don’t you miss your old life?”

  A knot tightened in my tummy. “All the time.” I shook off the sadness before my crazy eyes started glowing. It was hard to believe she wouldn’t see them if they did. “Allison’s been recovering, and I’ve been swimming.”

  “And Justin?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “It was never complicated before.” Her sweet voice pinched my heart.

  “Well, he’s never had to share me before. When I dated Kirk, Kirk was busy with practice and games and his own stuff. I had plenty of time for Justin. Liam’s stuff is my stuff, too, so we spend more time together.”

  Mom collected my favorite mug, a spoon, and the sugar bowl. She spooned a bit of sugar into the cup and shoved the mug under the Keurig without speaking. Her silence was enough to break my eardrums.

  She had no idea how complicated my relationship with Justin had become. “Justin invited me to the rodeo tomorrow. We’ll hang out and catch up then. No Liam.”

  She set the creamer on the counter and slid it my way. The fresh-brewed mug of coffee followed.

  “I have to work tonight.”

  Mom frowned. “You finally get a night without swim practice and they make you work.”

  “I need the work. How else can I afford my glamorous lifestyle?”

  “I guess that’s why I work, too. Gotta keep the town clamoring after us.”

  I settled onto a stool at the island and kicked off my shoes. Chester licked my socks.

  “Ew, stop.”

  He lifted his big head and sneezed.

  I rubbed my feet on his head. “You’re a lunatic.”

  Mom pressed her mug to her lips. “So, what are you going to do about Liam?”

  “Talk to him, I guess. I wish he didn’t try to fix everything. It’s just like swim team sophomore year when coach made me captain and everyone went berserk. They thought a senior should have the position, and definitely a guy. Coach said I could handle it and he let me. I figured it out and we went to state finals that year. I’m not a baby or an invalid.”

  I bit into the thick of my bottom lip. That was the problem. It was my destiny, but part of me didn’t want to be the prophesied anything. Part of me wanted to wake up from this insane dream and get back to my old life. Maybe I floundered because it kept reality at bay. I rubbed my forehead and pinched the bridge of my nose. Avoidance was a monumentally stupid way to live. What was wrong with me?

  Mom pulled a stool up beside me and patted my hand. “You certainly aren’t a baby. In fact, you’re the strongest, most dedicated woman I know. Cute, too. A little mouthy, but that’s to be expected.” She pointed a finger at herself.

  “Thanks.”

  “Liam will come around. He’s young. Guys grow up and settle down. Having a strong friend like you will help him see not every woman wants or needs a hero.”

  It was a nice sentiment. Oliver and their brother Mason aside, Liam was probably the oldest person on earth, so that blew up her theory about growing out of his psychosis. “He definitely has a hero complex.”

  Mom’s anxiety level inched higher. On the porch, she’d seemed calm, but maybe I was too lost in thought to notice her feelings. I studied the creases on her forehead. Tasted the worry in the air.

  “How about you? Everything okay at work?” I asked.

  “Work’s fine. Exhausting and stressful, but good. Emergency rooms are like that. Some miraculous things happen there, but before the miracle, there’s a lot of prayer and breath-holding.”

  I splashed creamer into the coffee and snapped the lid shut. “Miracles are nice.”

  “Callie.” The tilt of her head told me she’d finally noticed. “Your eyes.”

  “I know.”

  “When did this happen?” She pressed both palms to my cheeks and got into my face, squinting into my eyes. “They’re hazel?” She pulled back. “What on earth?”

  “I noticed at lunchtime. I don’t hate it. Do you?”

  She scrutinized me. “Anything else happen to you recently? Any other changes?”

  “Like?”

  “I don’t know. Weight gain or loss, trouble sleeping, weakness, dizziness, nausea. Anything else?”

  Panic danced along my skin. “Uh-uh. Nope. Just the eyes. Weird, huh?”

  She looked ill.

  “Do you think I’m sick? Why all the triage questions?”

  “Habit.”

  “I’m fine. I don’t love it, but I’ll get used to it.”

  She pressed the pads of both thumbs against my cheekbones and tugged my bottom lids down. “What if it’s a symptom of something else?”

  Boy, if she only knew.

  I wiggled free of her grip and sipped my coffee. “Do you mean like the kids who have one white eye in photographs and it turns out to be cancer? It’s nothing like that. I’m not sick. I promise.”

  “I wasn’t suggesting you have retinoblastoma.”

  “I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Mom pulled me into her arms hard enough to remove me from the stool. “If you say you feel fine, I believe you, but I’m still asking about it at the hospital tonight. I’ve never seen a person’s eyes change after the toddler years.”

  I hugged her back with eyes closed. If they weren’t glowing yet, it wouldn’t be long. Mom was wrong to trust me. I was a liar.

  * * * *

  Mom dropped me off at Roll With It on her way to work. A makeshift memorial filled half the sidewalk out front. My old boss and the former store owner, Buddy, had been murdered here by Stians. My hand trembled as I reached for the door. Gruesome memories jockeyed for position in my mind, but I couldn’t let them in. I had to focus on what was coming, not what had been done.

  Liam’s and Oliver’s older brother, Mason, sat at a table with Allison, filling sugar jars and condiment containers.

  I counted down from three and pulled the door wide. “Hi.”

  They turned with a start. “Hi.” Their voices echoed off the empty walls.

  “Slow night?”

  Mason rolled his shoulders. “Good thing we’re rich. I think this was a bad business investment.”

  Allison snorted. “Most people don’t like to dine where someone recently…” She covered her mouth with one hand and walked to the ladies’ room.

  The door sucked shut behind her on silent hinges.

  Mason lifted sincere blue eyes. “I thought it would be nice. Keeping the deli the same. Same name. Same menu. The way Buddy wanted it.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m not sure the community agrees.”

  “Give it time.”

  The draw to Roll With It was supposed to be the quirky idea of getting a roll with every order. No buns. No breadsticks. Whatever someone ordered, a roll came with it. In the days since losing Buddy, anyone could see the real draw had been him, not the rolls. People had loved his weird hipster ways. He’d been odd, but real. Without him, Roll With It was just another deli. And no one wanted a roll with anything.

  I tied an apron around my middle. “This is my first shift since that night.”

  Mason followed me behind the register. “Buddy’s mother accepted our offer to buy this place without argument. We offered four times what it’s worth, but I don’t think that made the decision for her. I think she was glad to hear we wouldn’t change anything.” He leaned against the wall and scrubbed large hands over his face. “Another winning business venture. No one will eat here after what happened, and I promised a grieving mother I’d keep the place as is.”

  “You did a good thing.” I nudged his foot with the toe of my boot. “Hey. Hear me?”

  He dropped his arms to his sides and shot me a hesitant look. “He’s dead because of us.”

  “No. He’s dead because he was courageous. He tried protecting Allison and me from five beings he knew weren’t human. He was
a good man, and so are you.”

  A swift dip of Mason’s chin told me he understood, maybe even appreciated the words but didn’t believe them. He and I were more alike than he knew.

  Allison returned, pulling a little red wagon over bumpy tile flooring. “Look what I found in the storeroom.”

  I breathed easier seeing her smile. “Twinkle lights?”

  “Sure. Thanksgiving is coming and the whole town will be decked out for Christmas soon. We should do the same. Make things seem as normal as possible.”

  Mason hefted a box from the wagon. “I haven’t spent Christmas in the States in some time. I’ll need your direction.”

  “Of course.” She pointed a finger at Mason before pivoting to face me. “Speaking of the upcoming holidays. We should hit the mall. Let’s do some Christmas shopping. I’m feeling better every day and you’re finally embracing your kick-ass figure. Let’s buy more clothes to show it off. If I’d known swimming did that to a girl, I’d have quit softball for the pool in grade school.”

  I barked a laugh. “Right. Because running a 5K every morning did terrible things to you.”

  “I don’t run every morning. Learn to take a compliment. How about the shopping?” She ticked off three fingers, punctuating each sentence.

  “Can’t. I’m broke. It’s officially swim season, so I’ll be lucky to work more than a few nights a month until spring.”

  Allison froze. She moved toward me at a cautious pace.

  I matched her body language. “Is there a spider on me? If there’s a spider on me, I’m going to die.”

  She stopped inches from my face and squinted into my eyes. “Did you get contacts?” She swayed left and right, examining me from every angle. “Those are hot. Like tiny eye art.”

  “That’s what I thought.” I pinched my lips shut. I couldn’t pretend they were contacts. No more lies. “They were like that when I got home from school. Crazy, right?”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Those are your eyes? Your brown eyes?”

  “Hazel now, I guess.”

  Mason straightened suddenly, a cluster of knotted twinkle lights swinging from his fingertips. “Liam and Oliver are coming.”

  Allison shot him a crazy face. “Do you guys have telepathy or something?”